Redux: Hamptons Designer Showhouse

Imagine a 55-gallon aquarium stocked with every imaginable species, color, size and shape of fish. That's pretty much what the Hamptons Designer Showhouse in Water Mill, N.Y., feels like—only across a little less cramped 12,500 square feet across three stories, filled to the brim with every color, texture, fabric, wall covering and far-out notion that some three dozen separate designers and vendors could dream of. Altogether, it comes across as a mish-mash, with little continuity, but obviously that's precisely the point.

The annual showhouse, sponsored by Traditional Home and constructed by Farrell Building Co., features a, 8,600-square-foot main house, with additional two-story pool house (pic'd here) and three-car garage, totaling 12,500 sf. It offers six bedroom suites, 10-1/2 bathrooms, gym, steam room, sauna, rec room and wine cellar, elevator, heated pool and spa and gazebo... all across 1.5 acres overlooking open farmland. I lost count of the number of fireplaces, but considering that there's one in the screened-in porch, you can reason that there are plenty. Asking price: $8.495 million (according to curbed.com, the house has already sold).

And now, to the rooms! (Photos: The Smoking Nun, Newsday/John Dunn, Official Web Site). This is my favorite, the swanky screened-in porch, designed by Brad Ford, all in relaxing shades of beige and white. Note that the loveseats are suspended by ropes. The back wall offers playful cream-colored "bells" strung on nautical rope. And what porch is complete without a fireplace?The master bedroom suite's bathroom, my runner-up favorite. Ironic that it's also designed by Brad Brady? The block-designed wallpaper in pale blue and white sets the color palette, with plush satin pillows and a handsome chandelier adding regal accents. The shower is as big as my entire bathroom in Brooklyn, brightly lit with an interior window. Storage is just plain ridiculous; who needs a kitchen pantry? A chase lounge completes—the ultimate indulgence.Much of the home, for better or worse, is overtly masculine, and the second bedroom best delivers. Designed by Bradley Thiergartner, it features warm browns and leather, with keepsakes from world travels: globes, a zebra head and a cutting edge media center to watch "Animal Planet." You can imagine the occupant spouting tales about African safaris, donning a cigar and silk smoking robe.The dining room, fashioned by Marshall Watson. The most clever feature: hand-painted chair backings announcing the seating for a dinner party. Stunning wall design.The home theater on the basement level. Note the double-decker seating.Designed by Joe Ginsberg, with audio/visual by Seal Solutions.The front-entrance foyer.You'd think one would run out of room names... but they just keep coming...Outdoor gazebo, featuring gardening center within.(http://www.hamptondesignershowhouse.com/index.html)